My work-ethic, nose-to-the-grindstone self instantly replied ?Ruthless!?

The spiritual part of me argued back ?But I?m a coach! And personal growth is not a hobby for me – it?s a way of life. I meditate, read inspiring books? surely ruthless isn?t the right response.?

Work-ethic shot back ?But the business experts we listen to tell me that I need to be relentless, exacting, and push myself to succeed.?

So who?s right??

Let?s untangle this mystery, and give you 3 tips to know how to answer this for yourself.

1)?Look at yourself as a top performer.

Recently at a business mastermind, I was discussing this concept with other attendees, and used the analogy of ?the million-dollar race horse?. You don?t ask the race horse to run a successful race, bring in the prize money? and then hook the horse to the plow at the end of the day. If you prefer being compared to a human 🙂 consider yourself an Olympic athlete (or hopeful). Yes, it takes some ruthlessness to compete at that level, and that?s the level of focus that it takes to create a successful business.

So should you be ruthless with yourself? Yes and no. Olympic athletes push themselves when they train, and they?re generally fanatics about nutrition. But they also get massages, and sleep, because those things help them perform at their best.?

What to ask yourself:

Instead of painting the picture as ?all ruthless? or ?all gentle?, consider what training or practice you need to be ruthless about (i.e. ?how can I improve myself as a business owner, and grow my company??) and what you need to be gentle about (i.e. ?how do I need to care for myself so I can do my best work??)

2) Discover your best energy-enhancers.

Part of pushing yourself involves knowing what gives you energy. Energy-enhancers fall into two categories (no, sorry, NOT espresso and latte!) Some are motivational energy-enhancers. These can range from motivating audios, practices like meditation, or reading about others? success. Others are strategic energy-enhancers, which include productivity practices like creating good schedules, and learning to delegate.

What to ask yourself:

What are my motivational energy-enhancers?

What can I do to streamline my day to give me more energy?

3) Learn how to recognize the ?energetic no?.

Recently I had enough work that I was intending to work on the weekend, which is usually something I don?t do. However, when I got up Saturday, the idea of working was an ?energetic no?. Not a whiny, I-want-to-sleep-more feeling. Every time I thought of working, I felt like my body, my energy, was pushing against a brick wall. Same thing Sunday. So mid-day on Sunday I accepted the ?no?. My body, and the Universe, was saying ?not this weekend.? Instead, I knocked out what needed to be done in about an hour Monday morning, when it would have taken me 3-4 hours had I tried to push through the ?no?.

In order to use this excellent internal guidance system that you?re equipped with, you have to be able to distinguish procrastination due to fear, which is common, from a non-fear-based signal called ?no?. It?s not easy! There will be times that you make errors one way or the other. I?ve seen lots of smart people tell me ?this just isn?t the time? when in fact, with a few minutes of mindset on a hidden fear, they were ready to go.

What to ask yourself:

What am I concerned about, with regard to this? (Answers might be: concerned that I won?t do this well, concerned that others won?t like it, etc. Work through those fears first before making a decision about whether you have an actual energetic ?no?.)

Do I need any additional clarity to begin this? (a lack of clarity will cause procrastination.)

This week, be deliberate and intentional about what you choose to be ruthless about, and when you are gentle with yourself. You need both to succeed.

For times that you want to be gentle with yourself, you may enjoy this. It?s a track from one of my albums (yep, I used to be a musician!) called ?I Treat Myself with Tenderness and Care?.

For times that you want to be gentle with yourself, you may enjoy this. It?s a track from one of my albums (yep, I used to be a musician!) called ?I Treat Myself with Tenderness and Care?.