A Powerful Way to Start Again (ep. 7)
A Powerful Way to Start Again (ep. 7)
Episode 7: A Powerful Way to Start Again
The energy of ‘starting anew’ can be exciting, whether it’s starting a new year or starting over after a failed marketing campaign. But how do you prevent yourself from repeating the errors of the past? Join Pamela as she talks about putting 2020 behind you, and how to look forward to 2021.
In this episode, you’ll discover:
- How to balance the two critical elements you need to bring into a new start.
- The two most important questions to ask yourself as you move into the New Year.
- The #1 technique to simplify your planning and goal-setting for the year.
01:23: Pamela shares the secret to step away from 2020 and walk into 2021 invigorated and ready to thrive.
07:04: Learn about the two critical elements you need to bring in anytime you move into a new year or a new project, and two questions to ask yourself to make it happen.
17:20: Get the step-by-step strategy to set your 2021 goals.
Episode 7: A Powerful Way to Start Again
Moving from 2020 Into 2021
You’re listening to ‘A Profitable Impact.’
There are two critical elements you need to bring in anytime you move into a new year or a new project and leave an old year behind. And if you don’t have those two critical elements, you won’t be moving forward as powerfully and resourcefully as you could.
Welcome to ‘A Profitable Impact,’ where every single week, we help coaches and healers to expand their reach, increase their impact in the world, and be well-paid for their extraordinary skills and talents. My name is Gene Monterastelli, and I am the lead coach in Pamela Bruner’s Impact Accelerator coaching program. And please welcome my friend and my colleague, the CEO of Attract Clients Online, Pamela Bruner. How are you doing today, Pamela?
I’m great, Gene. How are you?
I’m really, really good. I am excited as we are at the end of one year and starting a new year to have a conversation about the things that we could do in a really deliberate way to set ourselves up for success. And for those of you listening along and are joining us, if as we have this conversation, if you’re feeling a little bit lost and a little bit stuck, not knowing where to take your business in the new year, I’d really encourage you to sign up for a free conversation with one of our coaches. All you need to do is go to BookMyBreakthroughCall.com, that’s BookMyBreakthroughCall.com, and you can get an opportunity to chat with one of our coaches to help you to set up 2021 in a way that allow you to be successful.
Particularly with the year that we’ve had, even for people who have had a good 2020, and you know, your business, as you’ve said, and my business have been fortunate enough to do well during this unprecedented pandemic, you know, all of the global changes that happened in 2020, but a lot of people weren’t that weren’t that fortunate. And the other thing is even people who experienced something great as we did, we still were affected by what was going on in the world. And so I think putting this year behind us and stepping forward powerfully into the new year is going to be a great exercise. The other thing that I really like about this discussion that we’re going to have today is that it is great for any starting again. I recognize in myself that I’m a big fan of something that little kids do a lot where, you know, a little kid will jump up to a musical instrument or piano and they’ll start playing a few notes and they’ll go, “No, no, no, I’m doing it again. Here, listen now.” And the past is forgotten in that moment and they just focus on the present. And I think that’s a good jumping off point for us to look at how do we leave a year, like 2020 behind, or how do we leave any thing behind – a failed marketing experiment, a failed launch, a failed new part of our business, or a system that we were trying to bring out in market that we have decided to sunset. How do we let those go and move into “What’s next?” Because as we’ve said, many times businesses, the graduate school of personal growth. And so there’s always an opportunity to move forward and to start again.
I really like what you’re saying there, because oftentimes when things are particularly hard, the thing that we want to do is we want to have a clean slate and just start over. And it’s almost as if we’re going to the kitchen table with our arm and just wiping everything off and starting over. And it’s good for us to be able to start over with a clean slate, but I love what you’re talking about in there. How it’s really useful for us to look at what has come before, not necessarily to lament the opportunity this or lost, but as an opportunity to really learn from what has happened in the past. So that as we move forward with a clean slate, we’re doing it, not just in a new way, but with new understanding and information from our past experiences as we’ve been navigating something that has been difficult.
The Two Critical Elements
Exactly. So, let’s talk about the three things that we want to cover in this episode. So first I want to talk about the two critical elements I believe that you need to bring in to make a fresh start and you’ve been kind of hinting about at least one of those. And what are the two important questions to ask yourself as you move into the new year. There are variations of these questions, but they’re both really critical questions that can help you move forward powerfully, both from a strategic and from an emotional or energetic standpoint. And then the third promise is what is this number one technique to simplify your planning and goal-setting for your year. This is something that I do every single year, and it’s one of my favorite things to do. So that’s what we’re going to cover today. And why don’t we dive in and talk about balancing those two critical elements?
That would be perfect. I’m ready to go.
All right. So as I said, this whole little, little kid energy of “Look, mom, I’m going to do it now!” And this energy of starting over, there’s a lot of energy and power and excitement that comes with starting something new. And so that idea of we’re stepping into the new year can bring a lot of excitement with it. If you feel like you can generate that excitement and most people can, that’s an important energy to hold onto and to cultivate, you want to build that excitement. The other element that you want to bring in is what you were talking about, Gene, which is learning from past experiences. So starting anew does not mean for getting our past starting anew means, bringing our best self, our best energy, our best intention, along with all of the wisdom that we have gotten from the past. So, finding the balance between “I am excited about this,” and “I am learning from my past experiences,” to me, getting those to in balance is what moves you forward powerfully.
And I love the fact that you’ve broken those up into two separate things, opposed to just having us do that at once, even though that these two elements that we’re looking at together. Because for me, like those are two really separate parts of my brain. One is the visionary dreamy. What is the amazing things that I would like to have happen this year? It’s always really critical for me, not only to identify what we want but “Why?” like, “Why is that something that is valuable for me?” Because that sense of excitement with goals for me, doesn’t come necessarily with the outcome, but what that outcome gives me. And so I love looking into it in that way and then stopping. And then as we look backwards, as I am trying to learn from a previous year or learned from a previous experience, the question isn’t, “What did I do wrong?” Sometimes that’s a useful thing for us to look at, but the way I learned best from those past experiences to go, “Okay, great. What would I do differently if I was presented with these experiences again?” Because then I’m not just bludgeoning myself up with all of those mistakes that I made, but it actually is what you’re talking about: learning from a past experience so I can act in a new way in a new calendar year or whenever we’re doing a new beginning.
The First Crucial Question
Yes. So let’s unpack those things with talking about the two most important questions to ask yourself. And interestingly enough, I don’t think those two questions are, “What are my goals? What are my intentions?” I’ll talk about goals and intentions and the things that people usually talk about in just a minute, but these questions are, as you said, “What would I change about the past?” What would I, as one of my mentors says, I want to do over. “If I had an opportunity to do it over, what would I do differently?” And this is not an exercise in order to beat yourself up. Like a lot of people say, “Well, I wouldn’t do anything differently because I accept where I am and I’m grateful for my lessons.” Well, that’s great. And I’m not suggesting that you should not be grateful for your lessons or that you would necessarily want to change your past, but if you imagined a do-over, what would that entail? What would be the components of that?
So, you know, as I look at 2020, what I would change, I did a lot of things better this year than I’ve done them in the past, for which I’m both proud and grateful. And there are some decisions that I made slowly that in retrospect, I knew what was going to have to be done and I could have made those decisions more quickly. So that’s one area. When I say, “What would I change?” Or “If I had to do over, what would I do?” I would have accepted the inevitability of that decision, and it would have made it more quickly rather than dragging it out to the point where it became so painful that it was easier to make the decision because it was painful. I think decisiveness is a quality that I like to think I have, and I would like to exercise more of it quickly.
And I think what you did really clearly inside of that, Pamela, is you talked about idea of, you know, people not wanting to change their past because the lessons they’ve learned. Well, not changing our past is only useful if we are naming them as lessons. And what you did was, you looked really clearly, this is something that I’m not satisfied with and how it turned out. And the lesson I learned from that is I need to take this skill, this resource that I have of decisiveness. And I actually need to access that more often. And by naming that, you’re now putting yourself in a position where it’s not this tool that is just passively happening in the background, but you said, “This is something that really works for me. Well, and I want to make sure it is a tool that I have access to on a more regular basis, because that’s going to serve me better in and out of my business.”
Right. So the way that I can look at that as difficult decisions come up in my life and in my business moving forward, when I face a difficult decision, I now know what that feels like. I know what the energy of it feels like, and I can remind myself of this choice I’ve made, to be more decisive and to move forward quickly. Even if it’s uncomfortable. I know when one mentor of mine said something like 10 minutes, 10 months, 10 years, how will you feel about this decision in 10 minutes, in 10 months, in 10 years, and usually with those difficult decisions in 10 minutes, you’ll still feel pretty crappy, in 10 months it becomes a non-issue or a good thing that you moved forward, and in 10 years it’ll be forgotten. And that’s just one example of something that I personally would change, but I think it’s a great inquiry for everyone.
I think one of the things that is useful for help us to kind of install that sort of thing is not simply to identify the fact, this is what I would do differently, but for me, one of the things that I love to do is I love to envision myself at some point in the future, running into a similar problem. And in my mind, practice doing it a new way, almost like the way that we did fire drills when we were as kids learning how to deal with the problem when it came up, because we practiced it. If there was ever actually a real fire in the building, we responded appropriately. And so once you’ve named this lesson and this new way that you want to be, take a few minutes and imagine yourself at some point in February and March, where a similar type of problem comes up and you see yourself acting in a new way, responding to that problem. So it’s not just this intellectual exercise, but we’ve given ourselves some cellular muscle memory from that vision of knowing it’s something that it’s capable for us to implement in a new way.
You know, I absolutely love that because that’s, to me and I think to you too, the really effective way to do visualization. I think one of the mistakes that people make visualizing as they visualize something always turning out beautifully, it’s rainbows and unicorns and roses and, while there’s nothing wrong with visualizing wonderful things a year or two years or three years down the line, visualizing yourself overcoming obstacles or getting a challenge that you’ve had in the past and responding in a new way is, like you said, that’s practicing and yourself an actual imagined a memory, which is as good as a real one, an imagined memory of doing something in a more effective way.
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The Second Crucial Question
The other question to answer, the other important question, is, “What would I carry forward?” And this is something that as entrepreneurs, I believe we tend to look at what we do wrong very frequently. And there’s plenty to look at because even if you’re a successful entrepreneur, even if you’re a wildly successful entrepreneur, you’re going to probably fail more often than you will succeed and make more errors than you do right moves. So looking at what did I do really well this past year and what do I want to carry forward? So for example, in my business, in my life, one of the things that I did well this last year was I relaxed. I started getting more sleep. I want to say, indulging in self care, and I’m going to deliberately change that phrase-ology. I don’t want to see it as indulging, I want to see it as investing in my self-care and it made me a happier person. My team commented on the fact that I was happier, I was more creative, I was a better leader. So one of the things I want to carry forward into 2021 is that self care that I began practicing in 2020.
And I think 2020 is a wholly unique year as we’re looking at these things to carry forward. Because so many of us were in situations where we had to pivot and change plans because we couldn’t meet in person because we couldn’t do the normal type of networking we might do in our business. And as 2021 unfolds, and we return to a new normal that resembles somewhat of the old normal to recognize all of these skills and these assets that we’ve learned in our business that we had to learn, because we were pivoting in a new time. All of a sudden those are all tools and approaches and techniques that we’ve added to our tool belt that we might not have otherwise. So every year it’s useful to see the things to pull forward, but in a time of transition, we’ve been presented with so many opportunities to go, “Okay, what are all the new things that I did this year in my business to varying degrees of success? Great. How do I leverage those?” Because before we were doing them, because we had to, now we get to choose to do them because they work well for us,
Right. And sometimes you’ll start something new and you’ll be, you’ll have mediocre results or moderate success. There are a couple of new endeavors that we, we attempted in the business this year that we got a modicum of success with, but I can see that, just as one needs to practice a musical instrument or practice martial arts or practice broadcasting or anything else that you need to do in order to get better at it, these activities I can work on as a CEO or we can work on as a team and get better. And for a lot of people, this showed up in, “Wow, I really do need to show up on video now,” “I can’t network offline anymore,” “I need to learn to network online or participate and engage more in social media.” So, there are a lot of other people I think, who are in this boat where they tried something and maybe they didn’t feel very successful, or they achieved a modicum of success. And now they can carry that beginning success forward and enhance it in the next year.
I think what you’re saying there is really useful. Like there were some things that I tried in my business with online marketing that were certainly the first two or three iterations of them. And because they were the first two or three times that I tried them, they weren’t as refined as they needed to be. But because of the world, I was forced to get through those first two iterations. Now I’ve gotten through the learning and now I get to do the third time through and I’m more skilled at it. And so I’ve spent my learning curve up by being forced to do those things earlier. So, they weren’t rip-roaring successes, but I got my reps in where I got my learning so now they can be in my business.
So let’s wrap this part up with talking about how to ask these questions, because if you ask these questions as you’re closing down your computer for the night or getting ready to go do another activity, they’re not going to be very useful, but asking these questions, “what will I carry forward?” You can break that into, “what were the things that I tried this year that either I want to pursue, or that were successful?” and sit down for an hour or a half an hour or two hours and journal a little bit on, “What were the successes? What are the things I regret? What are the things that I am embarrassed by in the last year?” And make a list of those so that you have a list to work with. This is not a question or two questions to be taken lightly and to be taken lightly, but I think they deserve a cup of tea, a glass of wine, or several pages in a journal to really explore.
So I love having the ability to reflect and questions like that. And at the top of the show, you said that you were actually going to give us something that was even simpler than that. A technique to kind of help us to springboard our way into this new year with a fresh start. What was, what was that, that you had mentioned to us at the top of the show?
A Winning Strategy for 2021
Yes. This is something that I’ve done every year for, I don’t know how many years, which is to pick a word of the year. And there are plenty of people who teach a process to pick a word of the year. You can Google it. I often do a blog post about it at the end of the year. But let me go through a couple of the steps that you might go through to pick a word of the year coming up for you so that this one word can guide you. I find that the word acts as both an energy that you can infuse into what you do. It can also act as a little bit of a litmus test. So I have used words before like love and excitement and excellence and things like that, where I can take that word if I’m contemplating a challenge or I’m thinking about a new direction in the business, or I’m considering a new campaign, I can say, “Does this feel in alignment with the word that I have chosen for this year?” So I find that choosing a word of the year is largely an intuitive process. I’ll sit down, I’ll get quiet, I’ll take it into meditation. For some people choosing a word of the year is a little more of a, I make a list of 20 words that I might like to bring into my year, and then I start eliminating some of them and saying, “If I had to choose between this one and this one, which would I choose?” and discarding them. Now the temptation at that point is to say, you know what, I’ve narrowed it down to three words. And I’m good with that. I find that it’s almost like cheating to have three words.
I’m going to suggest you have one word, not because you will not have that other energy of the energy and emotions of those other words, but because there can only be one priority. It’s funny. The word priority actually means only one. And the word priority, as I understand it, was created in about the 1500s and for 400 years+, no one pluralized the word, because there was no such thing as priorities. So we often try to cram more in, and in this case with this word, I’m going to suggest that you choose one word and that that is your intention or your energetic priority for the year.
And have you figured out your word of the year yet, Pamela?
Now for 2021? That’s usually something that I do between the week of Christmas and New Year’s. As I sit down and I spend some time in reflection, I ask these questions that we’re talking about and I do my technique to pick the word of the year. Then I record that word at the top of my goals and intentions for the next year. So I have a sheet that I can read that I can look at. It’s got the year, it’s got the word at the top of it. I’ve even had people create a word of the year and put it on, say a piece of jewelry or put it in some more permanent way around their, their home or their office so that it becomes a real presence.
As you’ve heard this conversation today, if there is someone else in your life who is a healer, a coach, a transformational entrepreneur, who is looking to start this year with a fresh start as well, please be our ambassador and pass the show along. Just send them an email with a link to the show – don’t spam your inbox – but there’s one or people in your life who could probably really use this information to help them be successful in this calendar year as well. It would mean the world to us. If you haven’t done so already, please subscribe to the podcast. You can subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Pandora, Apple Music, Audible, basically everywhere you get audio. All you need to do is search for ‘A Profitable Impact.’ Click the Subscribe, click the Follow, and turn on the notification, so every single week you know when a new piece of amazing content is coming your way. And if you have a question, a comment, a topic that you’d like to cover on a future episode, we would love to hear from you. All you need to do is go to AttractClientsOnline.com, that’s AttractClientsOnline.com, click on that Contact link, and drop us a note so we can answer your question in a future episode.
I hope you have a wonderful day and I hope you have an impactful week.
ABOUT THE PODCAST
Building a business as a coach or expert is challenging, especially if you’re trying to find your clients online.
Join business coach and online marketing expert Pamela Bruner as she uncovers the secrets of successful transformational businesses. If you want to make a difference in people’s lives, expand your reach, and attract high-paying clients, you’ll love this show!